In my dastardly plan to get back to God, I've dropped every form of service that I have been involved in lately. And its slowly killing me. I'm at the point where I second guess everything. I'm happy serving with others and loving on people. And somewhere along the line I gave into the doubt and whispers in my ear that being content by giving to others is insufficient. You don't make a difference, they don't need your help, you don't really need to build them up, you're a fake. You are not worthy of being happy. All lies. Complete load of crap. And yet I'll believe that in a heartbeat rather than the truth. If I'm brutally honest with myself, I don't know what the truth really is. I've got a still small voice that leads me to serve and love, but is that God? Are the desires of my heart of God? How do I know? Do I run and hope that the heartbreak I'm going through will just magically disappear? Or do I stay recognizing that these trials make me stronger for whatever is ahead? Bringing me ever closer to the God who never leaves or fails me? The God who knows exactly where I'm at because He knows what the future holds for me.
"You see," said the Cowardly Lion, with a whimper, "I haven't the courage to keep tramping forever, without getting anywhere at all."
1 comment:
" I've got a still small voice that leads me to serve and love, but is that God? Are the desires of my heart of God? How do I know? Do I run [to HIM] and hope that the heartbreak I'm going through will just magically disappear? Or do I stay recognizing that these trials make me stronger for whatever is ahead? Bringing me ever closer to the God who never leaves or fails me?"
YES.
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