Why I'm Golden

I love music. Not that I know anything about it per se, but I think its amazing. I tried to learn how to play a violin once. In fact, I've still got it. Its in my closet, collecting dust as we speak. I tried to learn in college. I had a friend of mine who played beautifully. I'm pretty sure the angels stopped to listen to her when she played. One day she had the bright idea to try and teach me how to play. Fast forward to the part where I tried to learn how to read sheet music. That stuff is Greek to me. Needless to say after many hours of trying to grasp it, I politely declined any more music lessons.

And writing songs? Forget about it. I'm in awe of people who write their own stuff. That people I've never even met or will meet can write something that touches my heart is very cool to me. How they can pour out what they are feeling into an intelligible format and add music to it is somewhat of a miracle to me. I'll never be able to do that, and I'm fine with that. It gives me the ability to appreciate their talents more. I love that God has gifted all of us differently. One song that has applied very recently to my life is a song by Switchfoot. Which I actually did meet in New Orleans a while back. They were headed to dinner before the show and I recognized them. Then they tried to play it off like they weren't the band I'd expressly come to see that night. Uh huh, I'm not that gullible. Anyways, here's a bit from a song called Golden in their Nothing is Sound Album.

"She's alone tonight with a bitter cup, and she's undone tonight, she's all used up. She's been staring down the demons who've been screaming she's just another so and so, another so and so. You are golden. You are golden, child. There's a fear that burns like trash inside, and you're ashamed of the curse that burns your eyes. You've been hiding in your bedroom hoping this isn't how the story has to go. It's not the way it goes. You are golden. You're a lonely soul inlet of broken hearts. You're far from home, its a perfect place to start. We've been talkin' about a feeling, we both know inside but couldn't find the words. I've seldom been so sure about anything before. Golden, you are golden child."

Identity has been a victory and a struggle lately. There are times when I'm perfectly fine in who I am in Christ. And there are other times when I let people or circumstances around me define my identity. Its always a humbling experience when I realize that I've fallen for the lies that satan has thrown at me. I'm not new to this walk of faith and more often then I'd like to admit, I let people's opinions and perceptions become the truth of who I am. Which is a LIE. Dad gum it. Even when I'm on my guard spiritually and can feel satan's breath in my face, he manages to get a pot shot in occasionally. Well, no more of that. I am who I am because I am in Christ.

And I refuse to let satan's recent paltry and unbelievably painful attempts to take me from the community and body that I'm a part of succeed. I am loved here and love here at the Ring. Its where I serve, its where I worship, and its where God has placed me. I belong here because God has seen fit to put me here. I've traveled the world and He's placed me here, in Baton Rouge of all random places. And the only one taking me from this community will be God. I refuse to give anyone else the authority. I'm His and His alone. And yes, I'm digging my heels in and there is a decidedly stubborn tilt to my chin. But its with an air of excitement and joy that I type this. God is going to continue His habit of doing great things. I can feel it in me bones.....