I survived Christmas. It was a little shaky at times, but I made it. Which means that God, in His infinite gentleness with me, walked with me through all of it, but it still wasn't easy. Good riddance, 2005. On the whole, I will not think of you fondly.
On a much happier note, I was able to go to the ring last night. I haven't been in a few weeks because of whirlwind trips to Texas and family vacations. Do you ever have that feeling of coming home? That all is right with the world because you're where you're meant to be? Because that's exactly how I felt last night. I was home. I belong here. The feeling started at Sunday School yesterday morning and then lasted until I laid my curls on my pillow last night.
Speaking of last night, the sermon was about Matthew 11:28-30. At one point in the message, Josh was talking about rules and how we love them. As an example, he used a drum on stage. The rule was to not touch the drum. So to keep you from "the lure of the drum," another rule was that you couldn't be in three feet of the drum. Then it was you couldn't get someone else to help you touch the drum. I think you get the point. And then Josh went on to talk about Jesus' yoke and how He wants us to be yoked together with Him. For some reason, the rule and drum thing has stuck in my mind. I love rules. They give me a distinct course to follow. I'm safe in the discipline. It's what I know. But here's the tricky part. God doesn't need my rules. He doesn't need me to play it safe. If anything, He asks me to do some random things that I just have no idea where He's going with it. It usually leaves me feeling vulnerable and wondering if I heard Him right. I've gotten into the habit of following that Little Voice inside me, and then after I do whatever it is He's asked me, I begin over analyzing. Yep, that's me. And then I take myself out of the situation thinking that I really didn't hear God right when He asked me to put myself out there. I put rules up so that I can rebuild the walls I'm so comfortable being locked in.
Have you noticed in this last few sentences that there's a whole lotta Is in here? I'd like to have more Him's than me's in every aspect of my life. That's my New Year's resolution. I know I'm young and God is hopefully not done shaping and molding me. Yesterday morning at church, the choir was singing a song. I can't really tell you what song it was. I was too busy noticing how the choir was a majority of older people. And I began to wonder what their walks with God must be like. How amazing to have walked with Him for so long!! To have seen Him move in the course of their lives. I'm very grateful for being saved at a young age so that I can steadily fall more in love with Him as I get older. He doesn't change, but continues to change me on a daily basis. I wonder what He'll do in my lifetime.....
4 comments:
Good to have you back and I know of what you speak about coming back home. I miss my family when I'm not in South Carolina and I miss my church family when I'm not in New Hope.
That is a worthy goal, to "steadily fall more in love with Him" - may we all do that, whatever our age. ec
Heck yes MrEddie.. but I don't want to fall steadily in love with Him... I want it to be head over heals .. no control.. madly in love with Jesus Christ.
And it is so good to have you back Allison! I missed you like the dickens!
This comment is actually for Ann, but she doesn't accept anonymous comments. Sorry, please pass it on to her. Colleen's Mom - see Live A Life Worthy (Colleen's blog)
"Wait on the Lord." {#Ps 27:14}
It may seem an easy thing to wait, but it is one of the postures which a Christian soldier learns not without years of teaching. Marching and quick marching are much easier to God’s warriors than standing still. There are hours of perplexity when the most willing spirit, anxiously desirous to serve the Lord, knows not what part to take. Then what shall it do? Vex itself by despair? Fly back in cowardice, turn to the right hand in fear, or rush forward in presumption? No, but simply wait. Wait in prayer, however. Call upon God, and spread the case before him; tell him your difficulty, and plead his promise of aid. In dilemmas between one duty and another, it is sweet to be humble as a child, and wait with simplicity of soul upon the Lord. It is sure to be well with us when we feel and know our own folly, and are heartily willing to be guided by the will of God. But wait in faith. Express your unstaggering confidence in him; for unfaithful, untrusting waiting, is but an insult to the Lord. Believe that if he keep you tarrying even till midnight, yet he will come at the right time; the vision shall come and shall not tarry. Wait in quiet patience, not rebelling because you are under the affliction, but blessing your God for it. Never murmur against the second cause, as the children of Israel did against Moses; never wish you could go back to the world again, but accept the case as it is, and put it as it stands, simply and with your whole heart, without any self-will, into the hand of your covenant God, saying, "Now, Lord, not my will, but thine be done. I know not what to do; I am brought to extremities, but I will wait until thou shalt cleave the floods, or drive back my foes. I will wait, if thou keep me many a day, for my heart is fixed upon thee alone, O God, and my spirit waiteth for thee in the full conviction that thou wilt yet be my joy and my salvation, my refuge and my strong tower."
This is a great message on waiting by Charles Spurgeon.
hey beautiful - we were less without you here. we missed you.
He's not interested in our rules - He's interested in our hearts belonging 100% to Him. you know that, and you will not always allow fear to get the best of you... you're a texan - i here they don't have a word in their vocabulary for "fear." you must have mis-identified your emotion :P
no rules - no religion - just Him
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colleen's mom - i moved your comment to my blog. thank you, sincerely, for chasing me down on allison's blog - thank you for your obedience to Him - just, thank you. i'll comment more on my blog.
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