A friend of mine recently gave me a gift. He gives me really good things to read and this time it was "Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?" by Carolyn McCulley. Now before you freak out and think I'm writing this from inside the walls of a nunnery, hear me out...
I myself have issues with commitment. Especially of the marriage kind. Yes, I'm a girl, and let's face it, in my weakest moments I think Gosh, this would be easier if someone was fighting for me. However, at this time, 9:59pm on November 20, 2006, I question my desire for it. I think it sometimes gets in the way of my relationship with Him. I think its more of a want of mine than a desire from Him. I don't need anyone to complete me. Jesus is more than I could ever ask for. And yet why do I have the desire for human companionship? (It's rhetorical, don't answer it please...)
In the book it talks about using the opportunities, years, decades, minutes God gives you as single women to minister to those around you. It also said that in a godly marriage, the two of them serve God together and are even more effective as a pair than they were alone. That sounds amazing and definitely representative of the few godly marriages I have the privilege to see.
It says a lot of good things, some that are relative to me in my life and some that aren't. The proverbs 31 chic is mentioned in the fact that her role as a wife didn't define her. She was already a lot of those things before she was a wife. And it says that we are worth 100% of his attention when he's pursuing us. Yeah, I struggle with self-worth, who doesn't these days? I cringe to think that I'd have to convince someone to be interested in me. That's NOT God's idea. I think that's the best, and most manipulative, way to start off on the wrong foot.
It also mentions that we as single women should treat single guys like someone else's future husbands. I had to go back and read that a few times before it sunk in. And then made me look at the friendships I have with the men I hold as dear friends, single and married alike. Do I treat them the same? Married and single? Do I look at you and think, yep, someone else's hubby right there?
Because let's face it, if there is a whisper of anything in my single guy friends, my God-honoring responsibility to both of us is to tug on His shirtsleeve, ask Him about you, and then leave you on that altar. If God deems it a wise idea, He'll let the guy know if I'm to catch his eye and more importantly invest his heart in. Its amazingly humbling to realize how many friendships I've ruined, past and present, because I didn't leave you on the altar where you belonged.
But in all this, I hope to look back one day and think that I took advantage and loved as many people as I could while I was single. This too shall pass... And I want to hear good and faithful servant, not look back and think that I wasted time worrying about me instead of loving on others...
I'm not sure if any of that made sense...
I myself have issues with commitment. Especially of the marriage kind. Yes, I'm a girl, and let's face it, in my weakest moments I think Gosh, this would be easier if someone was fighting for me. However, at this time, 9:59pm on November 20, 2006, I question my desire for it. I think it sometimes gets in the way of my relationship with Him. I think its more of a want of mine than a desire from Him. I don't need anyone to complete me. Jesus is more than I could ever ask for. And yet why do I have the desire for human companionship? (It's rhetorical, don't answer it please...)
In the book it talks about using the opportunities, years, decades, minutes God gives you as single women to minister to those around you. It also said that in a godly marriage, the two of them serve God together and are even more effective as a pair than they were alone. That sounds amazing and definitely representative of the few godly marriages I have the privilege to see.
It says a lot of good things, some that are relative to me in my life and some that aren't. The proverbs 31 chic is mentioned in the fact that her role as a wife didn't define her. She was already a lot of those things before she was a wife. And it says that we are worth 100% of his attention when he's pursuing us. Yeah, I struggle with self-worth, who doesn't these days? I cringe to think that I'd have to convince someone to be interested in me. That's NOT God's idea. I think that's the best, and most manipulative, way to start off on the wrong foot.
It also mentions that we as single women should treat single guys like someone else's future husbands. I had to go back and read that a few times before it sunk in. And then made me look at the friendships I have with the men I hold as dear friends, single and married alike. Do I treat them the same? Married and single? Do I look at you and think, yep, someone else's hubby right there?
Because let's face it, if there is a whisper of anything in my single guy friends, my God-honoring responsibility to both of us is to tug on His shirtsleeve, ask Him about you, and then leave you on that altar. If God deems it a wise idea, He'll let the guy know if I'm to catch his eye and more importantly invest his heart in. Its amazingly humbling to realize how many friendships I've ruined, past and present, because I didn't leave you on the altar where you belonged.
But in all this, I hope to look back one day and think that I took advantage and loved as many people as I could while I was single. This too shall pass... And I want to hear good and faithful servant, not look back and think that I wasted time worrying about me instead of loving on others...
I'm not sure if any of that made sense...
1 comment:
I am glad to read that... I can see your heart and it is a good thing....
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