Last night was baby dedication at my church. It was lovely. Definitely one of the "top services I'm thrilled to be a part of" list I keep tucked away in my heart.
One of our elders talked about the miracle God did with his little baby boy. It was a bit scary what they as a family walked through, but God was faithful throughout it all. They have a perfectly healthy baby boy as testament to that. As he was talking about what God had done for his baby, it made me think of Taylor. I've thought about her a lot lately. Last night she was heavy on my heart. I wasn't sure if she had made a complete recovery or if she'd been gently cradled back home to heaven. I do know that the stress of the past weeks have pulled me so much that tears are always near the surface. And that when I start crying its really hard to pull it back together and stop. Its a clear indication that means I'm truly exhausted.
Sunday nights at church are a response for me. Whether its for the past week, in anticipation of the next week, or just the moment of being near Him, there's always some sort of reaction. Last night were tears and incoherent thoughts and feelings. Every time something was said about Him or His character, I'd just lose it.
I don't bear suffering children gracefully.
One of our elders talked about the miracle God did with his little baby boy. It was a bit scary what they as a family walked through, but God was faithful throughout it all. They have a perfectly healthy baby boy as testament to that. As he was talking about what God had done for his baby, it made me think of Taylor. I've thought about her a lot lately. Last night she was heavy on my heart. I wasn't sure if she had made a complete recovery or if she'd been gently cradled back home to heaven. I do know that the stress of the past weeks have pulled me so much that tears are always near the surface. And that when I start crying its really hard to pull it back together and stop. Its a clear indication that means I'm truly exhausted.
Sunday nights at church are a response for me. Whether its for the past week, in anticipation of the next week, or just the moment of being near Him, there's always some sort of reaction. Last night were tears and incoherent thoughts and feelings. Every time something was said about Him or His character, I'd just lose it.
I have no idea what happens next. My parents are waiting for a phone call about a funeral. I think I am too. I can't tell anymore. I want His will, but I honestly don't want her to hurt anymore.
I don't bear suffering children gracefully.
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