I get asked why I'm not married alot. Sometimes out of care, concern, nosiness, or rudeness. I don't mind people asking. Obviously I'm an open book. So why am I not married? A few reasons. One of them is fear. And its not that I don't think I'll ever get married, its just that any type of romantic attachment for this heart is going to require God holding one hand and "him" holding the other. And it'll have to be a lot of small words and gentleness cuz I'm not the most understanding of all that kind of stuff.
You see, coming from my background, marriage isn't exactly something I'm just itchin' to jump into. I think they take commitment, trust, all those very adult words that in the end mean two people, as well as God, decided that we are better serving Him together than alone. And yeah, for all my nerves over the mere idea of the sanctity of marriage, there is an ever increasing amount of hope that one day, maybe, I'll get to support a man who God has chosen for me.
In the meantime, I write him letters. Its nothing sweepingly romantic. Just me and my heart talking to him. Little things that like wondering if he's having a good day. If we've met before. If we'll meet in 5 years. How long God is going to continue preparing us for each other before He tells him to care for me. And no, I'm not posting one on here. They aren't for you. They are for him. And me. Like this blog. Its for our kids. Assuming by the time we have some the internet is still up and running and there's not some new fangled way to read about whats going on in everybody's world...
You see, coming from my background, marriage isn't exactly something I'm just itchin' to jump into. I think they take commitment, trust, all those very adult words that in the end mean two people, as well as God, decided that we are better serving Him together than alone. And yeah, for all my nerves over the mere idea of the sanctity of marriage, there is an ever increasing amount of hope that one day, maybe, I'll get to support a man who God has chosen for me.
In the meantime, I write him letters. Its nothing sweepingly romantic. Just me and my heart talking to him. Little things that like wondering if he's having a good day. If we've met before. If we'll meet in 5 years. How long God is going to continue preparing us for each other before He tells him to care for me. And no, I'm not posting one on here. They aren't for you. They are for him. And me. Like this blog. Its for our kids. Assuming by the time we have some the internet is still up and running and there's not some new fangled way to read about whats going on in everybody's world...
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