Quiet time. Me and Him. We sit down and talk and I cherish every minute of it. And yes, there are times when I slack off and don't talk to Him. Or I'm "too busy." The older I get the more I realize that its the little things that are the most important to me. And that those quiet times with God are essential to keeping my relationship healthy with Him.
Last night I was talking to Him about life in general. My mother had called me yesterday afternoon and said a few things that could have hurt if I had let it. So I was telling Him about what she said, knowing full well He knows every word and every feeling that went flitting through my heart. But there's just something about bringing things to Him that calms my heart. He's involved in every aspect of my life and I'm not going to hold on to any of it. He's getting all of it. The good, bad and ugly.
So after talking with Him, I wanted to jump into the word and see if there were any insights here. Right before I did though, I was listing the fruits of the Spirit in my head, seeing if I was there in regards to this situation. It was very unlike me to not freak out when my mom says something that might hurt. I just sat there calmly. And I'm pretty sure it was God. I was running the conversation back in my head, seeing where and which, if any, of the fruits of the Spirit came in. By the way, Gal. 5:22 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." Yep, a few of them showed up, which was ALL God. I have to give credit where credit is due.
After realizing that God has my heart firmly but gently in His hands, I started thanking Him because I didn't realize how involved He is in this situation. He's not just watching me live this life. He's right here with me. What an amazingly lovely thought! Then I started talking to Him about the rest of what is going on in my life. Situations with my job, my family, my friends. And I wanted to see if I was where I needed to be. At this point in my life I'm having a hard time telling the difference between conviction and affirmation. Conviction? Yeah, definitely know what that feels like. It spurs me to action. Usually involves humbling myself. But affirmation I'm not too familiar with. I've never been big on asking God to show me the yes I may or may not be feeling. However, for all of the situations in my life I've been asking for God's will, whatever that may look like. Because when it comes down to it, that's all that I want.
So I'm asking God about affirmation and if I'm supposed to be asking for it. Then I open His word randomly. Its one of my favorite habits. Just closing my eyes, opening the word and seeing what I can learn from the verse that my finger hits. Try it! There's always something I can learn from Him and what He's said ages ago that pertains to my here and now.
Back to my story, God and affirmation. Was I in the center of His will? Was I way off? Not even close? Exactly where He wanted me to be? I open the word and Col. 1:9-12 jump out at me:
9 For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. 10 And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11 being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully 12 giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.
It really couldn't have been more aimed at me and my life if it had my name in it! God is amazing and I just wanted to shout about it. Well, as much as I can shout through a keyboard.
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