i see the moon...

its been an eventful friday. i had a date with my lawnmower. which was great exercise for my arms, that were still being a bit noodley from weedeating. and the grass was so thick i definitely had to throw my weight against the mower to push it through sometimes. but nobody got hurt and the yard is taken care of for the time being.

then i decide to treat myself to a bucket of chicken. i've worked hard today, i'm sweaty, and i'm hungry. so i jump in my car. since i am not fit for polite company, i go through the drivethru. there is a tire/oil change place next to the chicken joint. the employees are all men and they are playing catch with tires. they were having an absolute blast. i know this cuz the chicken took forever and they were just laughing and tossing that tire. i didn't understand how that could be fun but they certainly seemed to be enjoying it.

about an hour later, court texts me to come meet the boy who could pass as my son. huh? she shoots me a picture of him. and he's quite adorable. i take notice of the combover and she said she combed it like that because he has a cowlick. yep, we could be related on the cowlick thing...

she says come play with us. hmm. well, ok. i get in my car and head a few miles up the road. on the way there i'm talking to God about how He made the moon particularly distracting tonight. its making it almost hard to drive cuz its just a brilliant pearl in the sky. sigh. He's so great.

anyways, i get to where court and the boys are. its him and his little baby brother. they are little darlings. he's almost two. but he's a petite little boy. with a giggle thats as big as him and spills out of him unexpectedly. i'm there about three seconds and im walking around with court and he reaches up for me to pick him up. well, im a sucker for laughing eyes and a combover so i pick him up and we walk around. i'm talking to him as we walk around. then he asked me to read him a story, he laughed at me a lot, and we played hide and seek. which was basically just me crawling around on the floor around a chair and him thinking i'm hilarious.

then it was time for him to go to bed. he kisses his brother goodnight. then court. then reaches up to kiss my cheek. um. i've not had lots of kisses in my lifetime, but the feather light kiss of a little boy just does something to your heart. or it did to mine anyways. then it was time to tuck him into bed.

what a lovely ending to my night...

Punkin Could Use Some Help

It's official. I'm out of shape. After work I went from career girl to novice landscaper in one quick wardrobe change. I got the weedeater out of the shed, set it on the ground in the backyard and immediately called my dad.

"Hey al-gal, what's going on?" Dad I need some help with a weedeater. I describe what the weedeater looks like, the switches on it, etc. He then proceeds to tell me how to start it. I hang up, and call him back in about three minutes. It would start, but then it would putter out. He told me to release the trigger on the back cuz it was getting too much gasoline now. I turn it and sure enough it starts and stays on. I get the backyard done. Then move on to the side of the fence close to our children's garden. Um, nothings' happening.

"Hey punkin." Dad the string broke off. My dad sits there on my speaker phone with me as he walks me through taking the head apart, restringing it, and putting it back on. The only hard part was holding one end of the string that I'd managed to finagle into the hole and trying to work the other string through the 2nd hole. Hmm. So I was definitely holding the string with my teeth while working my fingers in between the head and the coil to get it in through its corresponding hole. But we did it. He sat there patiently on the phone with me through it all as I'm trying to understand and figure this weedeater out. (My dad is a good man.)

So the weedeater is ready for use again. I go ahead and finish the side of the fence, trying real careful like to not hurt the flowers. But none of them got beheaded so that was nice. Then it was time to move across to the front of the yard. I did the edging, then realized two things. One, I'm dirty. There's grease on my shirt, grass all over me, and I smell like the gas/oil mixture for the weedeater and sweat. Yummy. The second thing is how out of shape I am upper body strength wise. Its been quite a while since I worked shift work lugging 36 bottles of coke every 30 minutes, and even longer since I spent hours a day aiming at a bale of hay until my mom told me to put my bow down cuz it was getting too dark to see.

But the lawn only needs to be mowed now. And I've got the weedeater for a few more weeks so I'm sure I'll get more practice with it. As long as my dad is still available I think we can get it done together.

We just evict their parents...

our lawn needs some tender loving care. weeds need to be eaten, grass needs to be mowed, light bulbs need to be changed. i still love my house, its just a lot of work to keep everything in working condition... little things that i wouldn't even think about until the light blows and i can't see to get into the house, or the trash is overflowing because i forgot it was trash day, or how i can't freaking figure out how to fix my ceiling fan chain. or the fact that my fingertips get singed every time i run hot water in the shower cuz the faucet gets too hot. or the dripping faucet in the kitchen that drives me crazy. yep, all those things that we've called maintenance about and oddly enough, nothing has been done with them...

anywho, some friends of ours went on vacation yesterday and said we could use their weed eater. awesome. so court and i drive out to prairieville in my car cuz its got a few more doors than hers. we get into the shed, take the weed eater to my car and realize it won't fit. Hmm. Ok. I have oh, nothing to tie it down on my roof with and then realize my seats fold down. and if you angle the weed eater it fits. so thats what we did. then went on to izzos to meet carla for dinner.

after dinner carla decides that she's going to change the light bulb over the carport with the bulbs I bought this weekend. ok, cool. well, none of us are tall enough so she backs her jimmy up and stands on the back of it to reach the light casing. which also has a birds' nest in it. i go get something for her to shove the bird nest out, which was a hand broom. i had the dustpan to try and catch it in case it has eggs or baby birds in it. so she's leaning on the edge of her car pushing the nest from the top, i'm standing under it trying to guesstimate where this nest is going to land. the smell from the nest is horrendous. seriously. so now she and i have our shirts covering our noses cuz its that rank. which means we're doing this one handed. meanwhile, courtney, who had been standing by the side door watching us, goes inside cuz she's gagging from the smell. one shove, two shoves, at about the fifth shove, the nest comes out and i catch it. whew! we aren't baby bird killers. we just evict their parents.

carla then goes on to change the bulbs so now the carport isn't black as midnight anymore. and today after work, i'm hoping to try to use the weed eater. i've not used one in oh, about 8 years, so we'll see how this goes. its a bit hard to manage for me. the proportion of the weight is a bit odd and is going to take some getting used to. i went ahead and brought the extra string for it. but i've never changed weed eater string before. my dad always did that for me. i've seen him do it, but like i said, eight years ago...

i miss my dad. for lots of reasons. one of them is being readily available to help me when i don't know how to do something. sigh. oh well, he's just a phone call and 18 hours away...

Records I would spin...

I like worship songs. Not the oh my life is so hard, God fix this kind of songs. Although I do think there are times of my life when those are the songs I need whispered into my ear... I love songs that are wide open shouts of praise and joy for the Mighty One who has saved us. The ones that remind you of how powerful, kind, gentle, just flat out AMAZING He is. That being said, if I were a worship dj, here are a few of the records I would be spinning:

Everlasting God - Lincoln Brewster

Here is Our King - David Crowder Band

Every Time I Breathe - Big Daddy Weave

Holding On to You - Paul Colman

Reaching - Leeland
(had to. one, they are from Texas. two, their lyrics are slammin'.)

The Hand that Holds the World - Starfield

Into the Day - Bebo Norman

Praise and Adore - Wavorly
(stunning lyrical reminder of who He is
and our calling to tell others of Him)

Superstar* - Go Fish

Picture Perfect* - Michael W. Smith

Fingerprints of God* - Steven Curtis Chapman

Something Beautiful* - Natalie Grant

Happy* - Ayiesha Woods

(For girls' youth group slumber parties.
I think girls need to realize how lovely He made them.
Especially around that age...)

Man who would be Different...

I get asked why I'm not married alot. Sometimes out of care, concern, nosiness, or rudeness. I don't mind people asking. Obviously I'm an open book. So why am I not married? A few reasons. One of them is fear. And its not that I don't think I'll ever get married, its just that any type of romantic attachment for this heart is going to require God holding one hand and "him" holding the other. And it'll have to be a lot of small words and gentleness cuz I'm not the most understanding of all that kind of stuff.

You see, coming from my background, marriage isn't exactly something I'm just itchin' to jump into. I think they take commitment, trust, all those very adult words that in the end mean two people, as well as God, decided that we are better serving Him together than alone. And yeah, for all my nerves over the mere idea of the sanctity of marriage, there is an ever increasing amount of hope that one day, maybe, I'll get to support a man who God has chosen for me.

In the meantime, I write him letters. Its nothing sweepingly romantic. Just me and my heart talking to him. Little things that like wondering if he's having a good day. If we've met before. If we'll meet in 5 years. How long God is going to continue preparing us for each other before He tells him to care for me. And no, I'm not posting one on here. They aren't for you. They are for him. And me. Like this blog. Its for our kids. Assuming by the time we have some the internet is still up and running and there's not some new fangled way to read about whats going on in everybody's world...

Plenty of Pictures...

This weekend was my sisters’ one year wedding anniversary. So crazy that its been a year. Its really flown by. Well, the first year anniversary tradition is paper, so she gave her husband a book. It was a photo book of the past year. She’d been on the phone with her ol’ sis about which company was good, what prices were reasonable, etc. She made it and it really is spectacular. Of course when she saw the finished product in hand she wanted to add 20 more pages. I’ve done a few photo books before and I completely understand where she’s coming from.

Well Sunday she gives it to him. He liked it. A lot. He might or might not have teared up as he flipped through the pages of memories that she’d caught the edge of with her camera. I think because our family moved around so much we learned to pack light and bring only the most important things with us. I don’t have a lot of furniture or nicknacks, mostly just a few things that have been passed down from my parents or grandparents. A set of mini Japanese vases from my mother, a grandfather clock (from my father’s grandfather), a Princess Diana doll... But I have pictures. Boy oh boy do I have pictures.

Theres something magical about them. Pictures freeze time. Nowadays time is rarely a servant and more often a master. But not with pictures. You can see my mom on a camel with the pyramids of Giza behind her. (One of these days I’ll recreate that shot). Dad when he was my age, me and my bald head till I was two. Or my sister with her Junior Ms. West Texas Crown…

So I’d encourage you to stop and smell the roses. And maybe even take a picture of them. You never know who will cherish them as much as you do…

Neighbors, Cakes, and Pies...

We have cute neighbors. Here's two of them.
They greeted Carla this morning as she was leaving.
I'm not sure where they live but they like our porch...

Then it was baking time. I made mini pecan pies.
They aren't very pretty, but when Court gets home
she'll do quality control to see how they taste...

The last "cake" I made was a diaper cake for a baby shower tomorrow.
Its just layers made up of rolled up diapers, various lsu apparel and some ribbon...

Approval Addict...

motives. they are not complicated things if you are honest with yourself. its incredibly humbling. for real. but its always healthy to do a checkup now and then...

the idea of not being a lady was whispered into the quiet corners of my heart. it's been planted, taken root, and bloomed. i've been trying to please everybody. (wow, that hurts just typing). i used to love people without even thinking about it, knowing that loving others was an expression of my love for Him. Now all my motives are is to make sure whatever it is i'm saying, doing, wearing, isn't giving a whiff of offense to my friends, church leadership, coworkers, anyone who has ever met me. its really hard. no lie. i say things then think o gosh, did they take that the wrong way? do i need to apologize? have i gotten someone in trouble? how do i fix this? etc.

in the midst of that God has been awesome. i love my house. i like to bake. my job keeps me busy. i know i'm not meant to be leadership. but its been nice that Courtney let me help with the kids. i'd been paying it lip service cuz i don't think i'm experienced or equipped to teach them but two weeks ago was great (when i got to tell the story).

speaking of, Courtney has taken a more solid role in the kids leadership. its lovely to see! she's so excited about it! and she glows when she talks about going to camp with the kids in a few weeks. its neat to watch God plant people within the Ring, see them fit into their calling, knowing that they are there with an express purpose. watching them be a blessing to others. i love love love i get to watch that.

i went to the archery field after work this afternoon. its right down the road from my house so its my place for quiet time with Him. i cried a lot today. then asked, begged, Him to talk to me through His word. This is what I got: Isaiah 56:3-7.

3 Let no foreigner who has bound himself to the LORD say,
"The LORD will surely exclude me from his people."
And let not any eunuch complain,
"I am only a dry tree."
4 For this is what the LORD says:
"To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
who choose what pleases me
and hold fast to my covenant-
5 to them I will give within my temple and its walls
a memorial and a name
better than sons and daughters;
I will give them an everlasting name

that will not be cut off.
6 And foreigners who bind themselves to the LORD

to serve him,
to love the name of the LORD,
and to worship him,
all who keep the Sabbath without desecrating it
and who hold fast to my covenant-
7 these I will bring to my holy mountain
and give them joy in my house of prayer.

i was talking to a friend of mine about how great Courtney was, one of the things being that she was from Baton Rouge. i told him i was a foreigner (i'm from Texas). So i thought it was fun of God to bring me to a passage about foreigners and His salvation for them.

that's pretty much where i'm at right now. after looking into my heart anyways. i told Carla i was scared to go to the Ring family meeting tomorrow so she said i could go with her to her parents' house for the weekend. Courtney will be babysitting so i'll have to walk in there alone. Gulp. I'm going to pray about it some more...

You Know My Name...

Help me remember the reason I’m alive
And that I was on your mind the day you died
Help me imagine, this is not my home
And some day I’ll be resting by your side

Help me remember the day you won my heart
And you paid my way to freedom with your love
Help me imagine the beauty of this gift
A grace that I am so unworthy of
But you’ll never let me fall away from you

You know my name
You know my story
Still you’ve taken on the world
Just for me
I am amazed that you hear me speaking
You listen close to every word I say
Who am I to be loved this way?
You know my name

If I rise, if I fall
My only hope is this
That you’d be with me everyday
Who am I to be loved this way?

artist: detour 180 - song: you know my name - album: fighting for you

My Middle Name...

It's insecurity. Haha. I'm just kidding. Well, sort of. Its actually Deanne. Have I told you lately how amazing God has been? And yeah, I even mean this week. For example, sunday I got to play with some kids. Then monday I was able to help with planning a movie day for them.

The times God is amazing in my life are usually followed by Satan picking a fight. And I don't think thats special treatment for me. I think he does that with everyone. I've always wanted to fight in that last battle mentioned in Revelation. I don't necessarily have to punch him. I'd rather shoot a few of his dang minions. Lately he's pulled out some old wounds, (trust), and some new ones, (that I'll mess up God's plan).

So. Let's take a look around my life, shall we? I love my new house. I like to come home, take off my shoes, go walk to check the mail, sit in the rocking chair on my porch, think about how I need to mow the lawn.

There's my new acquired baking passion. I love baking. Its relaxing. Let's me be OCD by using measurements, but still allowing me to use my creativity.

There's my roomies. Gosh they make my life full of laughter. They get to see all the crazy that comes with my curls. They encourage me in a million ways that even I with all my talkativeness couldn't express in words. They are also women in leadership at my church. Which is kind of intimidating but they push me to a closer relationship with Him.

My mom, dad, sister, and bil are healthy.

I have a job that I don't think about when I come home. I work my hours, then that's it.

I follow my heart. I think people I love know I love them. I always think like if this was my last day on earth, would you know I loved you? Then let my heart respond accordingly. I should probably be more guarded and less of a tenderfoot, but I was made to love. I think as Christians we all are. Guarded makes me closed off. To where no one knows the real me.

So, here's praising Him for the good when your heart is banged up. Its not the most shiny and newest of sacrifices but its the only one I have to give Him.

Almost...

I just got off the phone with my mom. I screened her call. I knew what she was going to say. But I called her back anyway. Hoping maybe this time would be different. I could tell her I was having a rough go of it and she wouldn't tell me what she usually tells me.

Nope.

I said I was having a hard time emotionally over the past two months. She recommended I back away from my church, get a part-time job, meet some new people and reminded me that I was alone. Mmm. Don't get me wrong, my mom has been very influential in helping shape who I am. She introduced me to Jesus. I'll always be grateful for that. I love her. And she loves me. But I've fallen short. Not so much that I'm a complete failure, I just don't quite measure up. Hair's too short, skin's too pale, still in Baton Rouge, don't make enough money, not a wife, still a part of the Ring. I'm almost a beauty. But not quite.

This week has been a bit of a refresher course that I don't measure up. I've gotten like 47 things wrong. This ain't no pity party. The only one who can claim responsibility for it is me. It stings but its true. I'm not below average intelligence. I complicate things. It doesn't start out that way, I just end up sticking my foot in my mouth. What is that saying about the road to hades being paved with good intentions?

I think its gotten worse as I've gotten older. There have been a ton of examples where the consequences of my mouth have hurt myself or ones I love. The newest examples are the hardest. Where I've damaged friendships that I held close, and I'm not a lady anymore to a group of people I respect. Oh, that one still hurts sometimes. All of it just reminds me of the selfishness that stares me in the face when I look in the mirror.

I might not be a lady, a wife, a perfect 10 in this world, but I'm worth something. My Lord thinks so. He made me the way I am. Even with my naive heart and foolish mouth...

But now, this is what the LORD says
He who created you, O Jacob,
He who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are Mine.
Isaiah 43:1

Beloved?

Yee-ouch today was rough. I think it was cuz I was tired. Being weary makes me more prone to being overly sensitive, sticking my foot in my mouth, and general vulnerability to tears and drama.

So what does a girl do when the world is pouring raindrops? Literally and figuratively? This one takes a bath. Till her fingertips look like prunes. And my skin turns red. (I have two skin tones. Red and clear. Haha.) Anyways, we have a shower cd/radio so I was listening to it and a song came on with a lyric that says "Your beloved needs you now." Right after that lyric is done, the signal fades because of the storm outside.

Beloved. What does that mean? I was talking to God about it. I wonder if He gets tired of me talking. Or thinking. Or chasing every little rabbit with Him. Or asking a million questions a mile a minute. I'm not sure what being a beloved entails or looks like. Dictionary.com says beloved is a person greatly loved; dear to the heart.

I am one of God's beloved. Beloved. It has a nice ring to it. And I know I'll always be that to Him. I can't ever ruin that. With my issues, or questions, or inexperience. What a lovley idea. He loves me. Loves to spend time with me, listen to my voice, just sit in comfortable silence. Even when He's correcting me, He always treats me kindly. He's gentle. Treats me like a teacup, not a gatorade bottle.

Ok, for not knowing what its like to be someone's beloved, He's slowly gotten me used to the idea that its ok to be loved.

Mmm. That God. You'd think He was trying to teach me something...

Food Poisoning...

Last night I was with Carla at Target. We were walking out of the store and I got a funny feeling. Can't really describe it. Just a notion that something was going on and I didn't have all the facts yet. So I tell Carla. I've got a weird feeling. Like what? I'm not sure. Hmm...

We drive home. Carla is housesitting so she dropped me off, grabbed some stuff then left. Courtney's car is a bit whomper-jawed in the driveway. She didn't pull all the way into it. I thought, silly girl, she could have pulled up...

I walk into the house. It's real quiet. Courtney? Yeah? Just by the way she says yeah I know somethings wrong. She's hurting. I come into her room, and look around for her. She's there and looking like death warmed over. “I have food poisoning.”

I'm blessed enough to have had food poisoning before. Its pretty much one of the worst feelings ever. You never know how its going to hit you and there’s not really much you can do about it. You just have to let it run its course.

Its time for bed. We tuck in for the evening. (Sidenote: I sleep like the dead. Unless someone needs to be cared for. Then I'm a super light sleeper.) Sometime in the night I hear Court get up. Are you ok? “I'm freezing.” Ok, she has chills. I jump out of bed and go hunting for all the blankets we have in the house. I figure if she has chills she's going to have fever and will need to sweat it off. The bed gets loaded down with blankets and pillows fluffed. Ready for her to rest. I go back to bed.

Around 2:30 this morning I can hear her coughing. Ok, coughing doesn't need my assistance. I lay there listening to every sound to make sure she doesn't need me. Then I hear "Allison." That tone takes me back. It is the tone of voice my sister used to get when she was throwing up. When we were little, Leanne used to get sick a lot. (Heavy metal poisoning.) I learned how to take care of someone who is vomiting. After you do it so much you learn to curb your gag reflex because someone else needs your care and attention at the moment. You can barf, just do it on your own time...

Court was definitely throwing up. (It was strange how easy I fell back into the vomit routine. I went around the house pulling things without even thinking.) I go get a glass of water, a cool cloth for her face, and some crackers. Took the trashcan out of my room, gave it a new bag then placed it by her bed. Asked her if she wanted to take a bath and she said not yet. She was feeling real weak and didn't want to pass out. But she sounded so much better after she threw up. Thats the thing with food poisoning, once its out of your system, you're weak but definitely on the mend.

It was hard to watch her hurt but I’m thankful He let us go through that together. Its been a while since I’ve been able to serve Court. The last time I held her hair back while she yacked we were at Canes...

Mary and Martha...

Luke 10:38-42

As Jesus and His disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Tonight I sat listening to my heartbeat. Tha-thump. Tha-thump. At the moment it was slow and steady. There are times when its fast and frantic. I was thinking about one of the stories mentioned in cg tonight. Mary or Martha. What kind of heart do I have? I think sometimes its definitely got Mary tendencies. There are certainly moments when I'm glowing with the joy of just sitting at His knee. Or loving others knowing I'm doing it for Him. Sigh...

Then there are my Martha moments. I think Martha gets a bit of a bum rap with this story. She had her priorities a little off, but I don't think it was the end of the world. Holy moly, when I get to serve someone, I love it. And yeah, there is opportunity for worry when you are rushing around trying to fix everything, care for everyone, keep every duck in its row.

I wonder what happened after Jesus gently called her name and reminded her to rest. Did she slow down? Did she look into His eyes and feel her heart beat immediately calm like the ripple on a quiet summer lake?

I guess I'm a bit of a mutt. Little bit of Mary, little bit of Martha, but all of my heart completely His.

PB Cookie Sandwiches...

This morning I woke up with an idea for a cookie. I tend to wake up with random ideas in the morning. Sometimes I follow through with them, sometimes I don't.

Today it was a peanut butter cookie sandwich. Hmm. I knew I had some peanut butter cookie mix, but the only icing I had was cream cheese icing. Wasn't sure how well those flavors would work together. The older I get the more I like flavors that are kind of light and sweet. Don't get me wrong I'll eat a piece of pecan pie any day of the week, but I'm not brave enough to try pie yet. I'm sticking to basic baked goods right now.

So the cookies are a peanut butter bag mix and some can vanilla frosting. But I tweaked it. (I really just can't leave stuff well enough alone.) I made the cookies 1/2 the recommended size, then took a mixer to the icing to make it more soft and fluffy. I really enjoyed making them today.

I like baking. Weird.

P.S. Courtney ate all the extra ones I had left. She asked me to make them for her wedding.

Juicy Fruit

Charity

Charity is love, both of God and of one's neighbor. It is our love for God above all things for our own sake and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God.

In addition, Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 13, that
Charity is the greatest gift from God.
Charity is about giving of oneself.
When Jesus died on the cross, it wasn't about anything other than Charity.

Joy

Joy is the happiness found in union with the Lord.
As C.S. Lewis described it, it is a glimpse
of the perfect happiness of heaven that leads us to desire heaven.

Peace

Peace refers to dealing justly with the world,
as well as remaining in good conscience before God.

Goodness

Goodness is the tendency to avoid sin and do good.

Generosity

Generosity is an openness to sharing
one's own gifts and goods with others.
It is the opposite of both gluttony and envy.

Gentleness

Gentleness, also known as mildness, is the tendency
to allow provocations to go unanswered.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Cor 13:4-7

Thanks to Wikipedia for its definition of the fruit of the Holy Spirit.

I wanna be that girl.

Secondhand Solos...

Last night I was going over some songs for the worship leader for our kids cg. We don't have one yet, but we have a prospect. Hopefully God is leading him to our little group. The thing is, he doesn't like to sing. So Court and I said, no problem! We'll totally belt out something if it means we'll have someone to play guitar for our little ones...

As I was going over the songs, picking and choosing age appropriate, fun songs we know, I came across my first adult solo I sang. It's called the Potter's Hand. I was helping with worship in the sunday morning overflow service in the gym. Extremely long story as to how I got roped into that. I had signed up to help as backup, not solos. Moving on...

I remember wearing flats cuz I knew I was going to shake. I'm like a leaf in the wind when I'm scared. I think its part of the reason God being steady is one of my favorite attributes of His. Haha. So silly. Anyways, my parents came to hear me. The music begins very softly, and then I chime in. O gosh. Just typing it takes me back. I remember thinking, ok, God, its just You and me here. I hope You like this, because its a very insufficient offering. (What can I say, my God is worth my best effort.) Deep breath, and sing...

I don't remember what I sounded like. After I was done, everyone chimed in and we sang the song through. I remember my dad being upset. He wanted me to sing the whole song alone, not have everyone else involved... My dad. He thinks I'm beautiful and can do pretty much anything. Thats one of the perks of being a dad I guess. You get to think your children are the most splendid little wonders. Which is fine. I fully believe he's a superhero.

Its very cool that God can have random things show up in your life that spark a memory, a face you love, or some blessing that came out of nowhere...

Storytelling and Solomon...

I help with our kids community group. Here's what I usually do with cg. I help with the crafts or games. Um, I sing during the worship part. Nothing much really. I don't think I'm used much at all. But this week we were going to talk about Solomon.

Every two weeks we have kids community group. We tell a bible story, play a game, color, etc. I help out with the wee little ones. Not babies, the K-2 group. As I was going over the material this week I kept thinking, wow I want to tell this story. I hope I get to tell this story. Do I have the courage to ask if I can tell this story? I don't usually tell the story. But this was different. This was the story of Solomon. I heart him. I love the book of Proverbs so I was itchin' to see if I could talk to the kids about the decision he made.

I asked Courtney if I could be the backup storyteller if our main storyteller doesn't show. We have someone who is a great storyteller. She's animated and excitable and just oozes fun. Court was going to text her that I was going to tell the bible story today. I told her HECK NO DON'T TELL HER! I'll just be backup and if she doesn't show, I'll do it.

Long story short, I got to do the story! I was totally praying through it. For 30 seconds to 4 minutes I'll be talking to those little ones about God. That's a big deal to me. I just kept asking that He talk through me. I mean, I can talk to a rock, but talking to children about God is such a bigger deal to me than shooting the bull with a rock.

So I take a deep breath and start talking to my audience. One boy and one girl. I begin talking about who Solomon's dad is (King David), what part of the bible Solomon's story is in (Old Testament), and then I get into his story. When I told them how he became a king, the little girl told me that kings take care of their people, and have to make decisions that would benefit and protect them. I tell her that is absolutely right, thinking inside, dang, she's spot on on the definition of a king. I then tell them both how he became king when he was just a few years older than they were, how God came to him in a dream and said because of his father's faithfulness He was going to give him whatever he asked for. Solomon didn't pick riches or strength or anything like that. He picked wisdom. And because of his desire to want to do the right thing, God gives him wealth, a large family, and a long reign. The little girl perks up again, looks at me earnestly with her little brow furrowed and says, So when God gave Solomon that extra stuff, its like a bonus round in a video game? My response, Absolutely! Solomon asked for one thing and God gave him a big bonus of riches, family, etc.

My story was finished and after a few minutes Courtney asked them what they had learned that night. Oh, my heart was pounding through my chest! If they said, I don't know, or I forgot, I might start crying. Do you know what they said? They told Solomon's story! I could barely believe it. Even my little guy who is here, there, and everywhere said he learned about wisdom and how wisdom is making a good choice. I don't think my feet were touching the ground afterwards...

I'm not sure how much God uses pop culture references, but I love that He let me talk to those little ones about Him tonight. The night continued to be good. We said goodbye to our worship leader for kids cg. The band was slammin'. As usual. I saw lots of faces I cherish and heard a sermon that made me think and ask myself some tough questions. All in all, it was a great night!

Happy beginnings...

I went to a wedding this weekend. And it was so lovely. The whole thing reminded you of the bride and groom everywhere you looked. It was great.

Courtney was my very lovely date. It was a bit far out of town so we left from work. She's putting on her makeup while I'm trying to figure out how to not get lost. But we made it to the church. Lots of little things brought a smile to my face that night...

The first was being escorted. Ok, in some things I'm confident as the day is long. Walking up an aisle by myself to a wedding is not exactly my idea of a good time. Court and I get to the beginning of the sanctuary. Court steps back cuz she doesn't want to be escorted. I lift my chin, smile with all the courage I can muster, and take the ushers arm...

He assumes we are on the grooms side. I gently reply that we are on the brides side, but appreciate the assumption that we'd be on the right hand side. The usher was the brides brother so we chitchatted up the aisle. Court disappears about halfway up the aisle. Um, ok. So he sits me down next to someone's mom. Not the brides. Just someones mom...

A little later Court comes to join me. Nothing like sitting there in a room full of people by yourself. A few strangers come sit with us. They were from Houston, he had taught in London, so we talked about Texas and London, etc. It was good times.

Then the wedding started. Everyone was beautiful. The women were lovely in a blushing pink strapless gown. The men very dashing in their tuxedos. And the bride was breathtaking...

Things that made me grin and tear up was when the groom came to meet his bride at the bottom of the few stairs the sanctuary had. He came bounding down the stairs. Not a goofy kind of run down the stairs. You could just see he was excited to be getting down to take her hand from her father and begin their life together. It was so great.

Then there was when they had just finished the ring part of the ceremony. They lowered their hands to listen to the officiant talk. But they kept them together. While the officiant is talking, he is rubbing her hand with his thumb. I don't even think he realized he was doing it. And that made it all the more sweet.

And of course their first kiss as husband and wife. Actually it wasn't even the kiss that made it stick out in my mind. I mean it was a wonderful kiss. But it was the second before it that made it special. She was literally glowing with happiness and smiling when the "I now pronounce..." part came up. She grinned into his eyes, kind of giggled a little, and he gently cupped her face and kissed her. Sigh... It was beautiful. Plain as that.

The reception was grand. There was a jazz band, food and lots of friends and family. There were a few antics of random dance moves from people as well as laugh out loud reactions to the garter toss and bouquet throw. Then a sendoff full of well wishes and bubbles...


All in all it was a wonderful way to watch a new beginning of something God had done. It was very cool to see that He had a hand in that night coming together...

Bake me a bug...

Today we had a garden party at our house for the kids in our kids' community group. I was sweating bullets. And that was hours before the kids even got here. I baked cupcakes this morning. I had a new bug pan I wanted to use...

My first batch was ok. I poured too much batter in the wells of the pan, so they kind of overflowed a smidge. By the third batch I was a pro at those bugs. Ok, not a pro. I don't think I'll ever be a pro in the kitchen, but I do give it my best effort.

Here is a picture of the ones I made for the kids. Yellow cake (my favorite) and a whipped strawberry icing with sprinkles. I like whipped cream icing, but I wasn't a fan of the strawberry flavoring. But hey, the kids didn't complain...

Of course as with my life, there was something comical about getting to the very unexpected finish line. The first hiccup was mixing. I don't have a mixer because I'm a budding baker. So I use a little elbow grease to mix everything. I mixed all the wet ingredients together. I was trying to get it to an even consistency. There was a yolk that was avoiding my most avid attempts to destroy it. A quick flip of my wrist and about half the bowl ended up on me, the countertop and the floor. Sigh. Ok, start over.

I get farther along this time. The batter is mixed as well as I'm going to be able to do it by hand. Its time to oil and flour the pan so the little bugs come out of the pan easily. The oil I pour on a paper towel and wipe into the pan. The flour I would get pinches of and blend them into the pan. Well. Too much flour. Ok, how do I get flour out of the wells? I know. Air. Air will get the flour out instead of me trying to wipe it out and mixing it even more into the oil I've just wiped on the pan. First attempt was too soft. Second blow was a bit too hard. Considering after my puff, a huge cloud of flour ends up all in my hair, the sink, and apparently in my lungs cuz I start coughing flour.

God and I laughed a lot this morning. It was just me in the house so I talked with Him while I baked. And yes, I totally prayed that those bug cakes wouldn't be a disaster. The frosting was a little tough. And the sprinkles are like food glitter. Grr. They went everywhere. But my favorite kinds were the ones where I had made a vanilla glaze for. I ended up using a paintbrush (brand new) to brush on the glaze...