Sometimes I wish God had a magic eight ball. Then I could just pick it up, give it a shake, and tah-dah, all would be revealed.
You see, I'm obsessed with doing the right thing. And the longer I'm on this planet the more I realize that sometimes the right thing is not the clearest thing to see. Sometimes it's the easiest thing to do in the world, and sometimes it's not. And a lot of the times in my life, the right thing doesn't look like I think it should.
Right now, it's not. I want to be grace. I want to turn the other cheek. And yet, I'm scared to. God is asking me to be Him to others and right now I just want to hole up in my comfort zone. My instinct is to protect myself from the actions' of others.
I want to be told what to do. I want to be "advised" out of the situation. I don't want to hurt others by saying No. I want to fall on my face and sob to God cuz I don't know what I'm doing. I want the decision made for me.
I want to stop acting like the child I am.
I want to be told what to do. I want to be "advised" out of the situation. I don't want to hurt others by saying No. I want to fall on my face and sob to God cuz I don't know what I'm doing. I want the decision made for me.
I want to stop acting like the child I am.
2 comments:
i had no idea, until today, that you were hurt so profoundly...my self-centeredness is to blame. all i can say is, i am utterly sorry, for the whole situation, the hurt you've experienced, the friendship with you for the past year and half that i have missed out on. like you said today, the Lord is gonna do something with this...afterall everything is for His glory and nothing else. whatever the outcome of this situation, i know that ultimately both of our hearts desire for the Lord to be glorified! He is always faithful, all the stinking time...blows my mind most days...i'm sorry for everything!
It's alright. I thought the world of you. But mistakes were made on everybody's part (including mine). Life goes on and hopefully we all learn as God brings us through it.
Maybe God brought us through all of this so we can give the friendship another go?
I'm a little scared, but I'm willing to try...
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