Remodeling?

I like to read. And write. The writing thing is relatively new. But I pretty much love it. Its like talking with my fingertips. And with the amount of fun stationary out there, it makes writing an adventure.

Ok, so back to reading. Currently I'm going through Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ by Dallas Willard. Its not the first time I've read it. But you would think it was the way it punches me in the face sometimes. My friend Taylor, who gave me a copy and feeds my bookworm tendencies, helps me when I don't understand something or have questions. He's a good man.

I can completely relate to the self-centered all about me part of the book. I was talking to Taylor about that this morning. I was telling him about how I could relate to Paul and his "i do the things i don't want to do" part of his life. Sorry, that's an extremely loose translation but basically Paul is writing about the sin in his life. How he still sins, but is still running his race to the best of his human ability with God helping him every step of the way.

Its much easier for me to love someone than to accept love. I hope I said that right. Yep, just read it back. Totally me. The same thing goes for my relationship with Him. I just don't understand why He loves me. And I don't mean that in poor me, kind of way. My sin is UGLY. And shocks me out of my socks sometimes. And yet I continue to do it.

And I'm still a saint. When the world tells me I don't measure up, He's still there, knowing that since He's inside me, I'm free from condemnation. What a glorious gift. Its remembering those little things like how His mercy for me is renewed on a daily basis. That's not a typo. DAILY. Why is He so gentle and kind with me? What's up with that?!

I'm still incredulous that He loves me. I don't understand that, and probably won't till I'm hanging out with Him a little farther north...