Ah, security. I crave it. Not sure when that happened. I could say its a condition of my upbringing. Moving around so much. Starting all over every time. Learning about the social structure you've just walked into. Or I could say its because of the time I live in. Where I'm part of a country at war. Violence and anger on every channel. Evil just waiting to pounce. Or maybe I'm just getting old and I want to settle while still living a life of passion with Him.
Security has a ton of definitions:
Freedom from risk or danger; doubt, anxiety, or fear; confidence.
Something that gives safety; a pledge; guarantee; protection.
One who becomes surety for another.
With my relationship with Him, we talk alot. I'm a talker. I'll spit in His ear for hours about you. I'm fantastically ok with trusting Him for stuff in the lives of my loved ones. Turn the table and I'm afraid to say a peep about me. Human hearts are so complex. Its the times I need to listen and be silent that are hard for me. Waiting for Him to say something. Or do something. I think silence is bad and going to result in hurt. But like it or not, the quiet times build my character. I think my character is a glimpse of my heart for Him in this tangible world. Plus it helps me learn to trust Him more...
He's very nice about it. Even when I'm not nice about it to Him. When I'm stamping my foot and pouting, or angry, or offend Him with my attitude. That's when His grace abounds completely in my life. He's achingly gentle and He speaks real slow and uses small words. He lets my unbelief and misunderstanding only take me so far till He decides enough is enough and sets me straight. He makes sure He enunciates and that I'm understanding Him. That's a big deal in a whirlwind of text messages, emails and other ways of non-verbal forms of communication where you translate what you think people mean.
Mmm. Sanctification. The process of becoming holy. Another process from God. O, how I want to be that girl. A girl that's kind and faithful and gentle and trusting and all of those things. I'm not sure I'll ever "make it" to be her. But the most surprising and wonderful part? He doesn't let go of me through any of it...
Security has a ton of definitions:
Freedom from risk or danger; doubt, anxiety, or fear; confidence.
Something that gives safety; a pledge; guarantee; protection.
Something deposited or given as assurance of the fulfillment of an obligation.
Precautions taken to guard against crime, attack, sabotage, espionage.One who becomes surety for another.
With my relationship with Him, we talk alot. I'm a talker. I'll spit in His ear for hours about you. I'm fantastically ok with trusting Him for stuff in the lives of my loved ones. Turn the table and I'm afraid to say a peep about me. Human hearts are so complex. Its the times I need to listen and be silent that are hard for me. Waiting for Him to say something. Or do something. I think silence is bad and going to result in hurt. But like it or not, the quiet times build my character. I think my character is a glimpse of my heart for Him in this tangible world. Plus it helps me learn to trust Him more...
He's very nice about it. Even when I'm not nice about it to Him. When I'm stamping my foot and pouting, or angry, or offend Him with my attitude. That's when His grace abounds completely in my life. He's achingly gentle and He speaks real slow and uses small words. He lets my unbelief and misunderstanding only take me so far till He decides enough is enough and sets me straight. He makes sure He enunciates and that I'm understanding Him. That's a big deal in a whirlwind of text messages, emails and other ways of non-verbal forms of communication where you translate what you think people mean.
When my security looks like this:
God + my desires
God + my desires
I = confused, doubting, heartbroken, overanalyzing
When my security looks like this:
God
I = love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Also known as the fruits of the spirit.
When my security looks like this:
God
I = love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Also known as the fruits of the spirit.
Mmm. Sanctification. The process of becoming holy. Another process from God. O, how I want to be that girl. A girl that's kind and faithful and gentle and trusting and all of those things. I'm not sure I'll ever "make it" to be her. But the most surprising and wonderful part? He doesn't let go of me through any of it...
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