Gotta Hate Those Stinking Christian...

I was flipping through looking for a friend of mine's wordpress today. I've deleted my myspace page so I've lost some of my connections. I was glancing through this and found this link. The name of the post was Gotta Hate Those Stinking Christian... His name is well, he doesn't leave his name actually. Hmm. I thought that was odd, but whatever.

I caution you before you read this. It's not nice, its not pretty and if you aren't grounded in who you are, I'd ask that you don't read this. Titus 1:9 says he must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. He's talking about elders in that passage but i think its a piece of wisdom we could all use.

There's a lot of this that is heart-breaking. Part of me wanted to stop reading. (I don't need to stick my face in a cow patty to know that it smells bad.) But another part of me wanted to see what his view was. He's obviously an intelligent person. He's an atheist who doesn't preach atheism. He doesn't believe there is a God and makes sweeping generalizations about Christians. He's found exactly what he needs to back up his claim that we are brainwashed.

And yet reading this got me excited about my faith. Which is probably not his point in writing this. When he says, "And there are even people with the mission to seek and convert every single person in the world. They just can't resist. Look at this and this and tell me they don'’t make you feel a little disgusted. These people are systematically converting the entire world."

Yes we are. That's the whole point. I want this man to know the God I serve. The God who loves his brilliant mind and razor sharp tongue. I want him to talk to Him about his doubts and questions and truly seek Him. I pray one day he'll take his questions to the One who can answer all of them...

When God Plays With Us...

Courtney and I went on a picnic yesterday. We randomly do that. It's completely silly, completely fun and just a breath of fresh air for the both of us. I had my canes (chicken strips...and as many extra pieces of toast they could give me...) and she had her jason's deli (a pile of rabbit food with a fruit cup.) I'm pretty sure Courtney will live longer than me.

Anyhoo, so we are eating our food, catching up with each others' lives. The past few weeks have been busy in different ways for both of us. We're chatting, giggling, almost falling off the bleachers... Ok, that was me. I'm grace personified, let me tell you. We finish our respective meals. Courtney is eating her fruit cup and I'm picking out the grapes in it. I grab one, sit up straighter, say here goes, and toss it into the air. It comes down a little faster than I was expecting (9.8 m/s/s) and plops into my mouth. We're very excited about it. It's now Courtney's turn. She says something along the lines of, I've never been able to do this. I cheer her on. (I think my friends can do pretty much anything.) So she sits up, mumbles something that sounds very much like Philippians 4:13 and throws the grape into the air. Its one of the highest tosses I've seen. It's coming straight down, I'm holding my breath, and Wham! lands right into her mouth! We both start doing a victory dance because it was just that exciting. The best part about it was the look of surprise on her face when she turned to me with the grape in her mouth. It was very much a "did that just happen?" look. And then says, it was because I said Philippians 4:13! We just erupt into more giggles, thrilled with our little grape game.

And Philippians 4:13 that she is talking about? "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

Not Good With Boys...

I'm not good with little boys. Or big boys come to think of it, but that's an entirely different blog. Since it was Thursday night, I was babysitting. And Connor decked me today. Connor is about three feet tall. Can talk your ear off. And also loves to get right in your face when he wants to talk to you.

Tonight I noticed his shoe was untied. I told him to give me that leg so I can tie his shoe, thinking he's going to put his leg on my knee since I was sitting down. Nope, he's still at the age when he likes to be held, but only when its his decision to be held. He plops down on my lap and throws his head back. And knocks my chin so hard I saw stars. Of course then he wants his shoe tied and I'm trying to not let him fall off my lap cuz I'm still smarting from his blow.

I was telling Ms. Diane, the lady I work with, if I have boys, I'll have no idea what to do with them. I don't know how to explain it, they're just...boys... And I am clueless as to how to deal...But bruised chin or not, the little guy makes me grin.

Being in Love at 25...

I'm in love. And its been a long time coming, let me tell you. It began when He and I started holding hands when I was eight. And its grown and hopefully matured as we've gotten closer and I've gotten older. I still don't understand all there is to love. I know there are different kinds. C.S. Lewis says there are four in his book aptly named, The Four Loves. Affection, Friendship, Eros, and Charity. (I heart C.S. Lewis. I think he was a good man with a gift in showing the world the motivations of Christians. Or what those motivations should look like...)

Affection (storge, στοργη) is fondness through familiarity, especially between family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance.

Friendship (philia, φιλια) is a strong bond existing between people who share a common interest or activity. Lewis explicitly says that his definition of Friendship is narrower than mere Companionship; Friendship in his sense only exists if there is something for the Friendship to be about.

Eros (ερος) is love in the sense of 'being in love'. This is distinct from sexuality, which Lewis calls Venus, although he does spend time discussing sexual activity and its spiritual significance in both a pagan and a Christian sense. He warns against the danger of elevating Eros to the status of a god, but he also praises it as an indifferent appreciation of the beloved as opposed to any pleasure that can be obtained from them.

Charity (agape, αγαπη) is a love towards one's neighbor which does not depend on any lovable qualities that the object of love possesses. Lewis sees charity as a specifically Christian virtue, and the chapter on the subject focuses on the need of subordinating the natural loves to the love of God.

My roomie asked me a few days ago what would happen if I let go unashamedly loved. I told her I had no idea. I was too scared to try it. The unknown is not really something I just want to jump into. I'll stick a toe in, but even then its gingerly...

I think the whole point these past few weeks is that He's been waiting for me to not be embarrassed about loving Him. I'm not sure why love has become something I'm ashamed of. I'm embarrassed to love you, Him, me. It comes from my insecurity in that what I have to give you is not worth anything of value. Its not tangible. It won't make your life any better in the long run. (I'm learning to recognize insecurity and putting it up against who He says I am. Let me tell you, the Bible cuts through lies and crap like a hot knife through butter.)

So after knocking down some of the walls I keep up, I've realized the more I let go and love Him, the more opportunities I have to love others. It's quite nice actually. He turns my days into little ways to love. It encourages me to not be so selfish and to take the time and effort to listen and care for others. This might sound silly but I'm completely OK with it. I love Him more than I can write, tell you, show you. I serve Someone who loves me beyond my human comprehension and that just has its effects on me. He told me to love, but I didn't know that in loving Him He'd show off by letting me love others. Mmmm. He's a good Man...

In Absentia...

I haven't been to the Ring in two weeks. Just typing that is weird. The fact that it's true is even weirder. Is weirder a word? Anyhoo, I've not been there. The first week I was in Texas visiting the folks, the second week I was a half a mile away at my house.

I was pretty much like a caged animal last night. I'd been praying about not going since wednesday and truly felt at peace about it. Which once again, was weird. Then last night I was pacing back and forth, cleaning the apartment, paying bills, wondering why I was here when all I wanted to be was up the road with my family. But every time I picked up my keys to go, I'd have the feeling that I was supposed to stay home. I'd sigh, put my keys down and keep my mouth shut. And then proceed to find something else to keep my mind off the fact that I wasn't where I belonged.

And then my cell phone rang at 7:12pm. It was my grandfather. Who for the past few years has been in Iraq. We'd sporadically kept in touch through the mail, but that was flimsy at best. I hadn't verbally spoken to him in years. He's back in the states and here he was, calling me on Sunday night. We talked for a good half hour. It was great. He'd called my mom and she said to not call me because I'd be at church, but he did anyway. He called me a backslider for not being there, but I look at it a bit differently. I'd been given a "no, Allison, stay put," so I did. If I hadn't I would've missed his call.

AND! One of our tech guys recorded the sermon! So I got to hear the message last night just an hour after it was spoken! I definitely missed it yesterday, but it was almost like I was there. Ok, not really. I missed my family something fierce, but I love what He did with the time I wasn't there. That Man, He's always surprising...