today at work i was called a bastard idiot by our receptionist. it wasn't that much of a shock. she calls most people names and this is not the first time she's thrown something like that my way. it was my reaction to it that surprised me. i didn't let it just roll off my back. the cheek that i was supposed to be turning was flushed with anger, indignation, hurt, frustration, and sadness.
whenever there is some type of conflict with her she usually emails me. and i in turn walk up to her desk to talk to her about it. i don't like hiding behind emotion-filled emails. especially when your desk is about eight feet from my office. we work together, we are on the same team!
so instead of loving her like i should i just sat and shook for a while. various emotions ran through me, and then the fingers of anger and wrath tried to inch their way into my heart. unfortunately, i know what they look like, so i just started praying. about my attitude towards her, how i could respond with love and grace. it wasn't pretty and it wasn't a stunning victory for my heart. it was more of a deathgrip on His hand while i cried because of the way she talks to me.
so if anyone still reads this, say a prayer please. for the both of us. i know she doesn't know Him, and i do. so we shouldn't look like each other.
whenever there is some type of conflict with her she usually emails me. and i in turn walk up to her desk to talk to her about it. i don't like hiding behind emotion-filled emails. especially when your desk is about eight feet from my office. we work together, we are on the same team!
so instead of loving her like i should i just sat and shook for a while. various emotions ran through me, and then the fingers of anger and wrath tried to inch their way into my heart. unfortunately, i know what they look like, so i just started praying. about my attitude towards her, how i could respond with love and grace. it wasn't pretty and it wasn't a stunning victory for my heart. it was more of a deathgrip on His hand while i cried because of the way she talks to me.
so if anyone still reads this, say a prayer please. for the both of us. i know she doesn't know Him, and i do. so we shouldn't look like each other.
6 comments:
according to God's Word, you are an image-bearer... and God's Word is NOT NEGOTIABLE. all the range of emotion you experienced, HE has experienced as well... the fact that you "lifted your heart to God" is victory - definitely not defeat.
thank you ann.
hang in there girl!
thank you ashley.
Hey, what about being a pastor of a church? You have some blog posts that'll preach girl.
haha.
thank you?
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