Happy beginnings...

I went to a wedding this weekend. And it was so lovely. The whole thing reminded you of the bride and groom everywhere you looked. It was great.

Courtney was my very lovely date. It was a bit far out of town so we left from work. She's putting on her makeup while I'm trying to figure out how to not get lost. But we made it to the church. Lots of little things brought a smile to my face that night...

The first was being escorted. Ok, in some things I'm confident as the day is long. Walking up an aisle by myself to a wedding is not exactly my idea of a good time. Court and I get to the beginning of the sanctuary. Court steps back cuz she doesn't want to be escorted. I lift my chin, smile with all the courage I can muster, and take the ushers arm...

He assumes we are on the grooms side. I gently reply that we are on the brides side, but appreciate the assumption that we'd be on the right hand side. The usher was the brides brother so we chitchatted up the aisle. Court disappears about halfway up the aisle. Um, ok. So he sits me down next to someone's mom. Not the brides. Just someones mom...

A little later Court comes to join me. Nothing like sitting there in a room full of people by yourself. A few strangers come sit with us. They were from Houston, he had taught in London, so we talked about Texas and London, etc. It was good times.

Then the wedding started. Everyone was beautiful. The women were lovely in a blushing pink strapless gown. The men very dashing in their tuxedos. And the bride was breathtaking...

Things that made me grin and tear up was when the groom came to meet his bride at the bottom of the few stairs the sanctuary had. He came bounding down the stairs. Not a goofy kind of run down the stairs. You could just see he was excited to be getting down to take her hand from her father and begin their life together. It was so great.

Then there was when they had just finished the ring part of the ceremony. They lowered their hands to listen to the officiant talk. But they kept them together. While the officiant is talking, he is rubbing her hand with his thumb. I don't even think he realized he was doing it. And that made it all the more sweet.

And of course their first kiss as husband and wife. Actually it wasn't even the kiss that made it stick out in my mind. I mean it was a wonderful kiss. But it was the second before it that made it special. She was literally glowing with happiness and smiling when the "I now pronounce..." part came up. She grinned into his eyes, kind of giggled a little, and he gently cupped her face and kissed her. Sigh... It was beautiful. Plain as that.

The reception was grand. There was a jazz band, food and lots of friends and family. There were a few antics of random dance moves from people as well as laugh out loud reactions to the garter toss and bouquet throw. Then a sendoff full of well wishes and bubbles...


All in all it was a wonderful way to watch a new beginning of something God had done. It was very cool to see that He had a hand in that night coming together...

A wedding story...

So tonight I had a wedding. Memorable moments of the whole thing include:

No pastor at the rehearsal. I've yet to have a pastor attend the rehearsal.

During rehearsal the groomsmen were onstage not paying one single bit of attention to what they were doing so I had to snap at them like they were children. "Gentlemen, (snap, snap) I need you to pay attention for a few minutes. Get your gameface on." One of them muttered that they felt like they were in the army.

At the wedding:

My assistant was 45 minutes late.

I learned how to put cufflinks on. I thought they were supposed to fit snug on the cuff, but apparently not. There was a lot of room when I put them on the brides' dad.

The pastor remembered me. I thought he was making polite pastor conversation until he said my hair had gotten longer. Then we talked about how his daughter wants "curly cues" in her hair. I asked him how his church was going, and that I'd wanted to visit, but my heart was at the ring. He said that the ring was a good place to have my heart and his church was doing great.

I walked into the choir room to go get the ladies and get this shindig started. The pastor was in there and he led us all in prayer. He was praying for the bride to enjoy the day and calm her nerves. I didn't really understand his prayer until a few minutes later. As I'm telling them to line up, she asks me if she has time to throw up again. Poor darlin'.

Of course I told her no and switched out her sprite for her bridal bouquet...

Knives & Nuptials...

The great and not-so-great thing about moving around a lot is that no one ever really gets to know you. You can tell people only good bits. Or let people in enough to let them see the highs and lows. Your surprising successes and fabulous failures. That's the beauty of living like a gypsy. Its a choose your own adventure kind of thing when you get to a new place...

A friend asked me if I wanted to be married one day. I told her, uh, I think I'll pass. Which could be seen as weird, but since I was ten years old, that's been my answer.

I don't think I'm much of a scaredy cat. If anything, I'm way too blunt for my own good. However, marriage is an idea that stops me in my tracks. I've learned a lot growing up about marriages. As I get older I realize how that learning has affected me. I sabotage anything that could even remotely have a whisper of a relationship. And I'm very good at it. I recently rearranged my room and found a stack of old journals from high school. One of the running themes in it is a prayer asking God that if I had to fall in love with a mere mortal, it would be one time. And that he'd be just fine with walking very slowly with me. We could both be in love with Him as well as each other! We just wouldn't get married... It's fun that through journals you can see how much you've grown or how much you have left to grow...

The idea of trusting someone with every part of me is TERRIFYING. I'm not sure why people do that. They just give over all of themselves?! That's crazy! Ok, giving all of me over to God? Heck yes, in a heartbeat. But to a person? People betray/hurt/scar you. I know He won't ever do that. Not to me, not to you. Never. Ever. Ever. But we are not God. When a marriage succeeds, its beautiful and lovely and gets stronger for the challenges they've walked through. But when it fails, it fails horribly. A persons' world cracks in unexpected and long lasting ways.

God and I are working on this attitude of mine. We have been for a while now actually. Some of it is physical, but not for long, some of it is mental with my head giving me historical facts and figures; meanwhile, my heart is starting to have a bit of a say-so in this conversation. Its full of hope... Hope of what I honestly couldn't tell you. But its hopeful and trusting Him that He knows what He's doing with me...

Dream Wedding...

I had a dream last night of my wedding day. Everyone was there, the bridesmaids had walked down the aisle. I was in a black halter dress for some reason. Which just goes to show you how unrealistic this wedding was, because no way am I wearing a black dress as my wedding gown...

Anyways, the ladies had walked down the aisle. I'm there, ready to go down the aisle and my soon-to-be-husband is gone. Not gone to war, not dead, both of which I could live with. Nope, he changed his mind and decided he didn't want to marry me. He didn't tell me this, no one had to tell me. I just knew. (Dreams are like that. You know the reasoning behind someones actions without being shown or told what it is.) I wake up this morning crying. Which is weird. Why would I cry over an imaginary wedding day with an imaginary groom calling it quits before we even started our lives together?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not cynical about my wedding day. That day is not something I take notes about and frankly, this is the first dream I can remember having about it. As for the eternal question of lots Christian ladies, will I be a wife? My opinion on it? I don't care. God has me hook line and sinker. If one of these days He decides I'll make one-half of a pair, that's cool. You know what's cool about my life right now? I get tons and tons of opportunities to take care of people around me every day that frankly would become less of a priority if I was attached to a boy who loves Jesus. So I soak it in, or try to anyway. Husbands? Cooking? Babies? Maybe one day. There's too many other important things going on in this world to worry about that stuff. We live in a broken world and we get to tell others about the One who can heal it and them. Hopefully I take advantage of those daily opportunities He gives me to do just that...

But waking up crying was a little weird... Must have been something I ate...

39. Weddings

I watched a wedding today. Actually I watched about thirteen thousand weddings today, but I focused on one in particular.

I guess I need to talk about how that works before we go any further. I can be outside of time and put Myself in it all at the same time...or I should say all at once. I can see everybody all the time and I intervene as I please. When I say I focused on one, some of you might be disturbed that I might not have focused on the others. Most of what I say about stuff like this has to be interpreted metaphorically so you can understand. The way I made your brain and how you think is really not capable of getting the whole "time" and watching-everyone-at-the-same-time concepts.

BTW, I made your brain with that limitation so you could experience the wonderfully brilliant contrast that you will experience when you leave your short life and enter into the next one.

Don't get all disturbed about

HOW AND
WHERE AND WHEN
I AM.

You'll get it sometime...except...I can't really say "sometime." You'll get it during another experience in another place in another dimension beyond this reality. Okay, now back to the wedding.

The young bride was beautiful and the young man quite dashing (as are all My creations.) They held hands and indescribable feelings swept through their insides. He smiled a lot and did a pretty good job at holding back his tears.

She laughed out loud a few times-not on purpose, and not because anything funny happened. It's just part of the way I made her. Her nervousness caused it, and it held her together at a time when she could have fallen apart.
They said their vows.
They thought about their lives together, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer.
And they mean it. I know their hearts. I can see into their future.
I'VE already been there.
I AM there right now.

Health problems will come,
money situations will arise,
and they will be shaken.
They will complain and
they will doubt and
they will fight.

She will wonder sometimes if she should have done this. He will wonder sometimes if there were someone more suited for him.

Sometimes they will forget the part in the ceremony where it was said that they will build their marriage on Me.

Those times will be the hardest.
I will use everything at My disposal-

circumstances and
people and
books and
solitude and
tragedy and
laughter and
memories-

to nudge them toward an important truth.

There are things that she will do to hurt him every so often. There will be things he does sometimes that make her feel unimportant and unloved. And when they get quiet and reflective...when they stop talking and listen to Me.

I'll remind them that they (along with everyone else on the planet) do the same things to Me every day.

But I'M not going anywhere.
Sickness and health. Richer and poorer. I AM.

I'M going to keep on loving...and when My bride, My church, My people ignore Me for a long time...and don't speak to Me...and forget that I AM important...and when they do things that they know hurt Me...

I will not give up on them.

I will stand beside them holding their hand like the perfectly manicured groom in his elegant tuxedo, and even then, I will be saying "To love and to cherish, to have and to hold from this day forward...till death brings us together...for the rest of eternity."


GOD'S BLOGS. Lanny Donoho. A chapter that made me smile...

Giggles and Weddings...

I had my first bridal appointment today. I'm fairly new to this so I naively expected "bridal appointment" to mean me, the coordinator I'd randomly emailed, and the bride. Um, nope. It was the bride, the groom, and her mom. Her mom showed up a little bit later, so the four of us (minus mom) were going through the details, picking out the invitations, thank you cards, napkins, etc.

It was fantastic! After the appointment was over, the coordinator and I sat and chatted about wedding coordinating. Extremely long story short, fridays and saturdays, especially in May and June, will be very busy. I'm excited and I'm still quite giggly about it all...

Look at that Bride!

Yesterday I was talking with a friend of mine about the Bride. You know the one I'm talking about. HER. The Bride of Christ. I'm a part of it, so are you if you have a relationship with Jesus...

I found a link to something called Beer Church Baton Rouge. Basically it was just a group of people who wanted to hang out and enjoy beer. While you think this is going to be my stance on alcohol, fooled you, it's not. I showed her the link and we began talking about how the Bride of Christ, the church, sometimes forgets who she is. She looks just like everybody else. I play my part in that as well. Sometimes I shine, sometimes I look no different than the world. It's infuriating to me when I recognize that I've been duped into thinking I'm no different. Hello?! Jesus Christ dwells in me and made me new! My actions as well as words should be shouting that!

At community group we were talking about the church across the world. It made me think of places like the 10/40 window where the church has to be on fire for God or they wouldn't survive. Living in the states I should be just as passionate for Him whether I'm in darkest Africa or at Wal-Mart. Location should never be the measuring stick for my passion.

We as His children are all created for something beautiful and amazing. Each and every one of us. Everybody is blessed with a uniqueness that comes from Him. There are some things I just can't do, but you can. That's the beauty and grace of it. We all have a role, an identity, and a purpose. We get to love a world that is broken and hurting. What an honor, what a privilege!

Love is in the Air...

I had my first wedding I helped with this weekend. And I might have ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!!! Ok, let me start at the beginning. I arrived about an hour and a half before. I was given directions, a name tag, and a radio. Then begins the 47 boutonnieres and corsages that needing pinning. Beforehand I was chatting with the sound guy saying the guys looked so dapper in their tuxedos. And they did! They all had black tuxes, but the groom was wearing a white tie and vest, while the groomsmen had an interesting autumn looking camo vest and corresponding tie...

Anyways, its time for the men to go into the hallway, and its my responsibility to get them there. It was a little like herding cats. There were quite a few of them, including the minister and groom, there were 11 in all. When I thought I had all of them in there, we were still missing four. So two left to go get them and bring them to the back. In the meantime I'm keeping the 7 year old ring bearer from trying to inch out into the auditorium that is filling with people, pinning the junior groomsman's boutonniere, and telling the videographer that his camera stand is exactly where the line of groomsmen and groom will be standing in about ten minutes...

Meanwhile, the minister, who was from out of town, comes up to me and tells me he doesn't know where he is to stand. I stand there and think, holy moly. He wasn't there for the rehearsal. And now he's asking me what he's supposed to do. I have no idea! He's the minister, I'm pretty sure he should know what he's supposed to do a lot better than me. My pastor has done like a million of them, so I try and think of where he's at at the start of all this. Unfortunately, I don't really pay attention to where the minister is during weddings. (Yeah, definitely regretting that in this moment.) When I'm at a wedding, I'm too busy grinning at how lovely the bridesmaids are, how handsome the men look and how breathtaking the bride is. So I totally winged it and told him where he should stand and what was going to happen to get everybody onstage...

They are starting to seat the grandmothers, so it's time for the guys to line up. So I say, Excuse me gentlemen? The minister is the only guy who turns to me. Mostly because he was the closest man to me I think. I tug on the grooms' jacket and say, I need to say something. So he booms a "Hey! Listen to this lady!" And every head turns my way. I smile and say, Howdy. Don't forget that when you get your bridesmaid, stop at the end of the pews for the photographer to take your picture. And now would you please line up, it's about that time...

They line up and start ribbing the groom about him getting married, maybe she left, etc. etc. The minister and I are just laughing at all the comments and jokes but then really start laughing because one of them starts up with a Nah-nah, nah-nah-nah-nah, hey hey hey, goodbye!! Well, by the third nah, every guy in there is serenading the groom and its just plain hilarious!

And then its game time. I let them out. You would've have thought I just said lock and load, we are going to war. That was the expression on these guys' faces. Kind of like, I want to panic, but if I show fear others' around me will know and they'll eat me alive. (Definitely had to swallow my giggles there...) Give it a bit of minute so I don't look like I'm in the male processional then I creep up the back to the foyer to help get the bride ready...

The bridesmaids are already making their way down. I walk up to the bride and her father. She looks absolutely beautiful. And I say so. She says, Can you fix my dress? Of course I can! I probably would've whacked someone if she'd asked me to at that moment. Her dad is a smidge antsy. He looks at me and says, Are you nervous? I'm nervous. I bet you're not nervous. You've done this a million times. My response? I'm not nervous! And I've done this plenty of times. It was very gracious of God to not strike me dead right then and there for telling a bold-face lie, in a church foyer no less!

I fix her train, and try to give them a minute to themselves as much as I could being in the same room with a bride, her father, and about 15 seconds before his daughter becomes another man's beloved. Then I shut the doors, moved them right in front, opened them up, avoided as many cameras as possible, then shut them. And that's pretty much all she wrote. We clean up, lock up, and my first wedding was in the bag...

I loved doing this for a lot of reasons. One, seriously, who doesn't love a happy ending?! Two, I got to see what its like with the boys before one of them gets married, what a dad murmurs to his daughter before she walks down the aisle, and that if I can help a bride make her day special, I'm honored and privileged to do so...

The Wedding March...

Tonight was my first wedding rehearsal! I was the first one there and all the lights were off and the doors to the church were locked. I found a back way into the sanctuary and was on my way to try and find some lights. I knew where some of the switches were, but I didn't have a key to turn them all on, nor a key to unlock the doors for the wedding party...

Meanwhile, the best man and one of the groomsmen come into the sanctuary. We're standing in the halflight, I'm introducing myself, asking them which side they were on. The best man was more of a talker than the other groomsman, so he was asking me where I was from, how long I'd been here. I was chattering about the Ring, and telling him this was my first time to help coordinate a wedding. He tells me I'll be great. It was fun of him to encourage me when he didn't know me from Adam. Then everybody starts arriving and its gametime...

My responsibilities for this wedding are wranglin' the groomsmen and minister, signaling the ushers for the runner, letting the readers know what and when, running to the back to help present the bride, fix the back of her dress, and then shut the doors. I think that's it.

In the midst of figuring all this out, I was also the halfway point down the aisle for the groomsmen to meet their corresponding bridesmaid. During the run through, when the girl starts heading towards where I'm at, the guy comes up and meets her right in front of me. The best man didn't have anyone to walk with. So he comes up, gallantly offers me his arm and asks if I'd walk down with him. I swing around to his left side, he looks down at me and says, act short. I'm five-four. This guy is a blond haired giant who is built like a wall. He's six-six. And he's telling me to act short! Even with my 2 inch heels, I was still a small girl alongside a very large man. But we made it down the aisle, he went up to his place and I swung back around to help the junior bridesmaid and her escort. She wasn't sure how to hold his arm. He had it down pat, but she was having a little bit of trouble. That was my favorite part about the whole thing, helping her learn how to take his arm.

I'm a complete girl. The mere idea of weddings get me giggling. I love other peoples' love stories! I think its so cool when God brings two people together and they want to share with the world that from here on out, you mess with one, you're totally messing with the other. I'm sure it will wear off the more weddings I help with, but right now, its all a magical wonderland. Throughout tonight I subconsciously found myself thinking, yep, like that, nope, not too fond of that. I'm going to get plenty of learnin' doing this....

Someone Else's Future Husbands...

A friend of mine recently gave me a gift. He gives me really good things to read and this time it was "Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?" by Carolyn McCulley. Now before you freak out and think I'm writing this from inside the walls of a nunnery, hear me out...

I myself have issues with commitment. Especially of the marriage kind. Yes, I'm a girl, and let's face it, in my weakest moments I think Gosh, this would be easier if someone was fighting for me. However, at this time, 9:59pm on November 20, 2006, I question my desire for it. I think it sometimes gets in the way of my relationship with Him. I think its more of a want of mine than a desire from Him. I don't need anyone to complete me. Jesus is more than I could ever ask for. And yet why do I have the desire for human companionship? (It's rhetorical, don't answer it please...)

In the book it talks about using the opportunities, years, decades, minutes God gives you as single women to minister to those around you. It also said that in a godly marriage, the two of them serve God together and are even more effective as a pair than they were alone. That sounds amazing and definitely representative of the few godly marriages I have the privilege to see.

It says a lot of good things, some that are relative to me in my life and some that aren't. The proverbs 31 chic is mentioned in the fact that her role as a wife didn't define her. She was already a lot of those things before she was a wife. And it says that we are worth 100% of his attention when he's pursuing us. Yeah, I struggle with self-worth, who doesn't these days? I cringe to think that I'd have to convince someone to be interested in me. That's NOT God's idea. I think that's the best, and most manipulative, way to start off on the wrong foot.

It also mentions that we as single women should treat single guys like someone else's future husbands. I had to go back and read that a few times before it sunk in. And then made me look at the friendships I have with the men I hold as dear friends, single and married alike. Do I treat them the same? Married and single? Do I look at you and think, yep, someone else's hubby right there?

Because let's face it, if there is a whisper of anything in my single guy friends, my God-honoring responsibility to both of us is to tug on His shirtsleeve, ask Him about you, and then leave you on that altar. If God deems it a wise idea, He'll let the guy know if I'm to catch his eye and more importantly invest his heart in. Its amazingly humbling to realize how many friendships I've ruined, past and present, because I didn't leave you on the altar where you belonged.

But in all this, I hope to look back one day and think that I took advantage and loved as many people as I could while I was single. This too shall pass... And I want to hear good and faithful servant, not look back and think that I wasted time worrying about me instead of loving on others...

I'm not sure if any of that made sense...

Betroth (part duh)

Courtney has a camera phone. I forgot we took this... And the best place in your house for lighting? That's right, your loo... Welcome to my shower folks...

Betroth You to Me Forever...

19 I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,
in love and compassion.
20 I will betroth you in faithfulness,
and you will acknowledge the LORD.
Hosea 2:19-20

Once upon a time, a beautiful friend of mine, soon to be married, asked me what I thought of this verse. My response? It's beautiful. I love that he is telling her this is how I will live my life with you and in that you will see Him in my actions...Stunning, really. Her next question? Will you read it at my wedding then? Gulp...o goodness. She said every time she read it, God told her to ask me to read it. Which is pretty amazing and I'm thrilled to be a part of their special day...

So in a few hours, 9 actually, she will become a wife. And somewhere in all that, I will read this passage. I was nervous about it, but figured, hey, just do it once at the rehearsal and you'll have done it. That way, when its game time, you can fall back on, eh, I did it yesterday, today is no problem.

Yeah, I didn't get to do it yesterday. We were all there at the rehearsal at the church, but it was agreed upon that we knew how to read so there's no need to actually run through it. I mean really, how can you mess up reading? I'm pretty sure I hid the panicked look on my face.

O, pshhh, I totally know how to read. I'm 100% confident. Ha! Uh, nope. It's more of an 80/20 confidence limit. This is my first wedding to participate in without being the cake cutter. I'm a pro at cutting cake. But being an actual part of the wedding party is a new experience for me. And new is always a bit awkward for me.

So I've made my family call me and tell me I can do this. My mom raves about my speaking voice, and my sister wants to be here today. I do have a cheering section, they are just fifteen hours away both east and west.

Plus I made a bet with a friend of mine. I gave 5 to 1 odds I'd somehow manage to mess this up...

A Bride and Being Barefoot

A friend of mine and I are reading at a wedding. We're both excited about it. (I crack jokes about it so I can not feel so nervous about doing it.) We were messaging each other back and forth and she said she hoped her knee didn't give out going up the stairs. Then last night at church she told me that she was going to up there barefoot because she can't walk up stairs with heels. I laughed and told her that I had planned on wearing flats, because I shake like a leaf when I'm nervous and theres no way I'm shaking like a leaf in four inch heels. So I think the beautiful bride is going to have two barefoot readers for her wedding...

Fatty's Surprise Wedding

My sister was married yesterday on the beach.
The new husband and wife duo played in the water just after the hitchin'.
Also present was my parents' granddog, Higgins.

Well Wishers and Wedding Bells

Have you ever heard of a wedding book? Yeah, me neither. Apparently its a book chock full of pictures from magazines, newspaper clippings, little tidbits, etc. Basically, things girls have seen and dreamed up for their own weddings. A lot of women have them. I, however, do not. This is not a criticism of those who have, its just an observation of one who has not.

I went to a wedding tonight with a friend of mine. It was a bit of a whirlwind, but we made it in time to White Oak Plantation. The ceremony was beautiful, the bride was beaming, and the groom was blushing. It was very nice. When we left, Misty and I walked down the aisle. It was kind of fun. White Oak was lit up behind us and there was music playing from the ballroom. I think walking down an aisle automatically turns you into a little girl wondering about her wedding day.

I don't have big plans for my wedding. I figure I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Which might suck all of the romance out of it, but right now, I'm ok with my "eh, whatever" attitude. I'm sure it'll change when I'm planning my own wedding. In the meantime, as I go to more and more weddings, I've come to find there are things I won't have:

No open flame. (There will be too many people with too many hair products. Too risky.)

No children. (No part of my wedding is going to rely on a three year old.)

No dancing for me. (All of you can cut a rug, I will be sitting by his side, smiling at all of you enjoying yourself on the dance floor.)

No corny pastor. (Tonight the Rev. said, "You should have heard the conversation at the unity candle. She turned to him and said, You light it dummy." At the reception I had the opportunity to ask the bride, whom I've never met before tonight, did you really say that? Nope, she didn't.)

No unity candle. (Open flame...)

No outside wedding. (I live in Louisiana. We have humidity, we have bugs. Both I don't want at my wedding.)

No plantation. (I want to be married in a church.)

No strapless dress. (I don't like showing my bare shoulders in church. I'm a bit of a prude.)

No long ceremony. (No one wants to hear a twenty minute dissertation on why I'm marrying this man. It'll be written all over my face.)

And that's my list so far. I've never written it down before. I don't know, I guess when it comes down to it, I'm more of a plain kinda gal than one who wants all sorts of hootenanny. I want lots of good food, lots of great music and lots of smiles. That's it for my "have to have" list.

However, I say this as a single female who's not twitterpated. Who knows what will happen if I get bit by the love bug.