Not Creative Enough for A Catchy Title

January 10, 2007

The Eighth One...

I stole something today. Well, actually, it wasn't today, I just found out I'd stolen it today. You see, I'm a bookworm. I was much more of a bookworm when I was younger and I've got the eyesight to prove it. Anyways, I'm trying to be financially responsible so instead of buying books, I check them out at the library. We have one that is a few minutes from where I live and I think its great. Sometimes I'll go in with a mission and purpose, and other times I'll just go in and meander through the stacks that smell of old knowledge and new experiences.

A little before Christmas, I knew I'd be spending a few hours in Texas airports, so I wanted a few books. I looked to make sure they were not checked out through the online catalogue, had them held, then popped in, checked them out, and was on my way.

There are three of them, all by Dr. Henry Cloud. And they are due tomorrow. So I went online today to recheck them out and it only had two of the three books listed. I called the library to tell them one of them wasn't showing up on my account. Sure enough, one of them was never checked out in the first place. There's no record of me taking it so there's no way to recheck it out. I'm a thief!

The coup de gras of all this? It's the title of the book. Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality.

January 09, 2007

The Wedding March...

Tonight was my first wedding rehearsal! I was the first one there and all the lights were off and the doors to the church were locked. I found a back way into the sanctuary and was on my way to try and find some lights. I knew where some of the switches were, but I didn't have a key to turn them all on, nor a key to unlock the doors for the wedding party...

Meanwhile, the best man and one of the groomsmen come into the sanctuary. We're standing in the halflight, I'm introducing myself, asking them which side they were on. The best man was more of a talker than the other groomsman, so he was asking me where I was from, how long I'd been here. I was chattering about the Ring, and telling him this was my first time to help coordinate a wedding. He tells me I'll be great. It was fun of him to encourage me when he didn't know me from Adam. Then everybody starts arriving and its gametime...

My responsibilities for this wedding are wranglin' the groomsmen and minister, signaling the ushers for the runner, letting the readers know what and when, running to the back to help present the bride, fix the back of her dress, and then shut the doors. I think that's it.

In the midst of figuring all this out, I was also the halfway point down the aisle for the groomsmen to meet their corresponding bridesmaid. During the run through, when the girl starts heading towards where I'm at, the guy comes up and meets her right in front of me. The best man didn't have anyone to walk with. So he comes up, gallantly offers me his arm and asks if I'd walk down with him. I swing around to his left side, he looks down at me and says, act short. I'm five-four. This guy is a blond haired giant who is built like a wall. He's six-six. And he's telling me to act short! Even with my 2 inch heels, I was still a small girl alongside a very large man. But we made it down the aisle, he went up to his place and I swung back around to help the junior bridesmaid and her escort. She wasn't sure how to hold his arm. He had it down pat, but she was having a little bit of trouble. That was my favorite part about the whole thing, helping her learn how to take his arm.

I'm a complete girl. The mere idea of weddings get me giggling. I love other peoples' love stories! I think its so cool when God brings two people together and they want to share with the world that from here on out, you mess with one, you're totally messing with the other. I'm sure it will wear off the more weddings I help with, but right now, its all a magical wonderland. Throughout tonight I subconsciously found myself thinking, yep, like that, nope, not too fond of that. I'm going to get plenty of learnin' doing this....

January 08, 2007

The Silent Treatment...

I'm a big fan of music. I don't know the first thing about it, but boy it can just grab my attention and sweep me away. I think that's really cool...Lately I've unconsciously played songs that give me a little bit of a breather from the wear you out, straight up muck and mire you sometimes find yourself in. I guess the correct sunday school terminology is that I'm in a "valley" and the only way to get out of it is keep walking. Blegh. This valley I've been to often. I should have like a million frequent flier miles from visiting...

Don't get me wrong, my life is not doom and gloom. I'm loved. I laugh. I still thoroughly enjoy loving you. I'll stand at your side and cheer you on if given the opportunity. I'm just battle-weary at the moment. It will pass. In the meantime I try to walk, usually stumbling, until I'm out of it. I'm a little beat up but no worse for wear.

As usual, I want escape. A plan. A neon sign. A railroad tie. A smack upside the head. A hug. Something to let me know I'm headed in the right direction. Right now I'm winging it. I hate winging anything. Oddly enough, I'll encourage you in a heartbeat and not think twice about it. But when it comes to living my life, I will over analyze it till I'm so confused I'm not doing any moving at all. Its a very clever trick I am learning to recognize as a way to keep me chasing my tail.

So far I'm at...nothing. I think I'm supposed to rest? I'm truly horrendous at rest. It bugs me. Give me something to do. Someone to love, something to take care of, something to keep me busy. Unfortunately, He's not saying a word. Which means I should be trusting Him in His silence, not fighting with myself trying to figure out why He's not talking to me. Growing up, the only way I knew someone was upset was by silence. Silence meant I'd done something wrong and therefore needed to take steps to mend the relationship I'd broken. So when silence is the reaction I get from anyone, including God, my mind immediately goes into figuring out what I've done wrong. It's how I've been trained...

If you take a look at my ipod, here's what you would find:

Always Love You (Nicole C. Mullen)
Stand in the Rain (Superchick)
Made to Worship (Chris Tomlin)
Never Alone (BarlowGirl)
Falling (Pocket Full of Rocks)
Sleep (Plumb)
Hungry (Wow Worship)
You're Everything (David Crowder Band)
For the Sake of the Call (Steven Curtis Chapman)
Made to Love (Toby Mac)

And a few others I can't think of at the moment. I think He uses lots of things to gently hold you and take care of you. I think He adds His magic to the random everyday things of life. I love that He does that. Even when He's not talking to me...

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

January 07, 2007

Jai Guru Deva Om

It's been a busy week. I've spent a lot of time with Him out at an archery field in town. I'm a new wedding coordinator in training. I went out with a good man who makes me laugh. I slept in a castle and woke up to the cries of a blond haired little sprite. And as of 6:30pm, my heart will start cracking a little bit because I know I'm not where I belong...

Deuteronomy 5:16
Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

Matthew 19:29
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.